Someone asked me why I am dressed like a pirate in my profile picture.
The answer is simple: because I am a pirate.
I’m not particularly vicious, nor greedy to a fault,
I’ve never buried treasure, nor sought an ancient vault,
I’ve only sailed one little sea so seven seems a lot,
No lawmen have pursued me so I never have been caught.
I do however live my life in a manner quite pronounced,
A jolly roger waves with me so I’m never unannounced,
In my sail-less ship of black I pillage the otherwise mostly boring,
Satire, humor; wit and rumor is where I do my exploring.
My normal dress does not fit the style of early brothers,
But on occasion I have been seen in a hat with many feathers,
My cape and boots in a closet hide, waiting for some fun,
Which normally comes around after several rounds of rum!
See? I just burst into an impromptu sea chantey. If that doesn’t prove my intrinsic pirate nature, I’m not sure what does.
I should clarify that I am an anachronistic pirate, and share only a very loose connection with modern day, AK-47 toting pirates. The aforementioned pirates have lost the whimsical, fantastic essence that comes with being truly piratical and to top it off, most of them don’t even know how to sword fight.
To fit in with main-stream society and hold things like a bank account, driver’s license, or steady relationship, I am forced to curtail my constant wont to drink rum and be rowdy. I also have to be careful, as my innate spirit gravitates towards the ocean, often at inappropriate times (read: during my lunch hour).
I even have to actively fight my urges to mark all my things with pirate-code. See the below exhibit:
I was supposed to be painting a nice manly brown (like the planks of wood from a ship) over the girly pink, but could not keep myself from inscribing the walls with assorted pirate symbolism. I thought they turned out pretty well. I did have to eventually paint over them, which was ok, because even their sheer awesomness couldn’t counteract all of that pink.
I also crudely drew my favorite galleon, my favorite sea beast and the final location of my sacred treasure (hint: it’s beer and it’s in the fridge):
Ultimately, the room ending up being my sanctuary and the place where I spew forth most of my nonsensical rambling. For anyone who cares, below is a near perfect representation of a place that brings me near perfect peace. The only thing missing is a cat laying across my desk:
I acknowledge that this room is not particularly pirate-y. Even a captain needs his quarters to retire too after a long day of sailing and debauchery. I do however manage to retain my pirate values when sailing the asphalt oceans, as can be seen from the stern of my ship at midnight: