Review: Heavy Seas Loose Cannon IPA

A loose cannon aboard a pirate ship would probably be a pretty terrifying thing.

~3,500 lbs of steel and iron rolling around wildly at the whims of the waves, slamming into man and barrels of rum alike.

I can’t imagine anything good ever came of a loose cannon, short of that one scene in At World’s End when they loose the cannons to tip the boat upside down (which probably would have totally worked and MythBusters should try that).

Unless you count this beer, which would be a great thing to come of a loose cannon, if only in name.

This is a flagship (I’m just overflowing with bad puns) beer for Heavy Seas and I’ve seen it on tap in more than one bar. It’s a pretty traditional and well presented IPA with generous hopping and a crisp, only-slightly-bitter return.

I could talk with this beer. Talk about politics. About the state of the union. About which weapons would be the best to fight of a smallish throng of classic, Romero-style zombies. The important things in life.

I could walk with this kind of beer. On the beach. Around my yard as I mow. To the local 7-11 to get week-old taquitos. This beer can and should go places.

I could get deep with this beer. Talk about astronomy. Physics. Which deep sea creatures are the most horrifically nightmarish and why. This beer will make your brain even juicier than it was prior to you drinking it.

And despite the fact that I don’t actually know how, I could sail with this beer.

I could point the 30 pounders at my enemy’s broadside. I could cut across the wind, leaving her dead in the water. I could yell to my men to “loose the cannons!” and they would all stand around looking at me, wondering why the hell I’m the captain when I clearly don’t know what I’m doing.

I meant, if you had let me finish, “Fire!”

Its color is similar to Dogfish Head Shelter Pale. It’s more orange and opaque than Harpoon IPA (which is surprisingly yellow, but I digress) but it is also heavier, and slightly sharper in terms of carbonation. It has a generous head that will give you a nice beer mustache if you’re too eager to drink. It’s sour and savory, like a bottle of hot sauce minus the chili.

I’m a fan of this IPA. I buy it frequently. Partly because it’s a Maryland beer, partly just because it’s flat-out good. Dogfish head 60 minute is arguably a better IPA, but Loose Cannon is cheery, casual, and cheap(er).

8 out of 10.