It was hard for Brooklyn Brown Ale, being the only kid on the block who liked to read books. While all the other young beers were out playing sports, slowly fermenting in the summer sun, Brown was inside, pouring over volume after volume of classical literature.
The other beers ruthlessly made fun of him, calling him things like, “Drown Ale” and “Booklyn”, but Brown didn’t mind. He had a world he could escape to in his Lewis and Tolkien and Verne. When he was alone with his books he was free to be anyone, anything, anywhere.
It wasn’t long before Brown’s reading paid off, and he soon began surpassing his peer-beers in school. The years spent reading had given him an edge; he had knowledge of so many topics that he became a valuable asset to anyone who was struggling in school. Suddenly the biggest nerd became the MVB (most valuable beer), and the childish jokes all but stopped.
As he moved on to college, he kept reading, and it showed. He grew into his bottle; his once awkward body now full of malts and just enough caramel sweetness to draw the attention of the ladies. Brown was tall and strong, with a small, but bubbly head on his shoulders. As he matured, the physical started to match the mental.
He studied everything from physics to mythology, but just couldn’t find that one subject that held his attention wholly. He longed for something that challenged and intrigued him, something new, something wonderful.
That’s when he met her. He couldn’t take his eyes off her curves. She was perfection in glass form.
Their romance was a whirlwind of mash boils and carboys. Her kiss was sharp and cradling. When he poured himself into her body it was a perfect union, almost as if they were designed to be together.
His bubbles would dance on her skin, leaving subtle traces of his love long after they had been together. She could smell his delicate bouquet of hop-cologne as he got near, reminding her of his exotic mix of malts and barely.
Soon Brown realized that all his life he had been chasing the wrong thing. He had thought he wanted ultimate knowledge. It turns out he was really looking for love.
They would spend all of their time together reading all of their favorite books. Ovid and Homer and Thoreau. Campbell and Whitman and Emerson. Johnson and Pope and Donne. It turns out that she had been the neighborhood bookworm too.
It had taken him years, but Brown finally found his challenge, his adventure, his reason for life, in the bottom of his lady’s glass.
8.75 out of 10.
Next up: Harpoon Munich Style Dark!