Old Bay seasoning, like Old Spice deodorant, is no joke. It’s so awesome, it doesn’t even need a ridiculous ad campaign.
If you’re from anywhere near the Chesapeake bay, you know this to be true. Old Bay is the standard-bearer of Maryland summers; his blue, red, and yellow heraldry fluttering in the breeze coming off of the water. Where there is Old Bay, there are crabs, and there is beer.
But Old Bay need not be saved, hoarded, coveted, only to be used on crabs. Even the labeling says, “For Seafood, Poultry, Salads, and Meats.” I have never had an Old Bay salad, but it sounds like the kind of thing a bad ass Corinthian warrior would eat. I suggest using Old Bay on anything and everything, as it can do no harm, only good.
According to the best and most trustworthy research tool ever known to humankind, Wikipedia, the ingredients of Old Bay are as follows:
- celery seed
- bay leaf
- black pepper
- red pepper
I think they left a few out. Namely:
- Very finely ground crack-cocaine
- 99.9% pure distilled youthful exuberance (harvested from only the most carefree of American teenagers)
- Beer flavor enhancer #19
- Refined Chesepian spirit dust (salvaged from Skicoak, near Norfolk)
- High fructose black bean syrup
How to use Old Bay:
Things you’ll need:
-Food you are going to cook
-Beer (may I suggest Blue Moon Agave Blonde Ale?)
Step 1: Put copious amounts of Old Bay on everything
And you’re done! You and your reborn taste buds can thank me later.