I am the worst basketball player in the United States of America.
I can’t do a lay-up. I have mastered the air-ball. I am incapable of dribbling with any sort of rhythm.
As a result, I never partake of any March Madness madness. When coworkers ask me to participate in the pool or fantasy league or just fill out a bracket for fun, I stand awkwardly in my cubicle, not entirely sure basketball is a safe thing for me to be around.
I like to stick to what I know: words, games, beer.
If you can’t beat ‘um, join ‘um. Or reinvent the whole thing so that it fits your specific interests and fields of expertise.
Literature and Libation presents an Oliver Gray production of: Pilsner Madness!
Through painstaking field work, sampling, and research, I have located and consumed 16 different Pilsner style lagers and pitted them against each other in a fierce battle for crisp, refreshing supremacy.
I only chose Pilsners because I had recently brewed one. I specifically tried to find beers labeled as “pilsner” or “pils” or “pilsener” and avoided any other pale or golden lager. The name, for anyone interested, comes from city of Pilsen in the Czech Republic where the style was first brewed in 1842.
Finding 16 Pilsners out of season was not an easy task. It took tens of minutes to scour the shelves of local beer stores to find what I needed. That’s commitment.
Without further ado, here are your contenders. They are seeded by the size of the brewery’s distribution (in barrels, converted from hectoliters for international brands):
- Sam Adams Noble Pils
- Pilsner Urquell
- Jever Pilsner
- Red Hook Pilsner
- Weihenstephaner Pilsner
- Brooklyn Pilsner
- Laguintas Pils
- North Coast Scrimshaw Pilsner
- Victory Prima Pils
- Gordon Biersch Czech Pilsner
- Southern Tier EuroTrash Pilz
- Great Divide Nomad Pilsner
- Heavy Seas Small Craft Warning Uber Pils
- Gunpowder Falls Pilsner
Over the next few weeks, I’ll be posting dueling reviews of these beers, in a bracketed, single elimination style tournament. I’m using my wildly subjective opinion of each beer to determine the winners, so don’t be offended if your favorite gets knocked out in the early rounds.