With an ever-increasing selection of high-quality beers available, well, pretty much everywhere, craft beer enthusiast are experiencing an age of taste enlightenment, a malt and hops renaissance clad in glass, bearing colorful, cleverly labeled heraldry. With so many options, it was inevitable that drinkers and drinking habits would naturally stratify, form groups based on behaviors and preferences and concentrations of alpha acids. I give you, distilled from the hot mash of beer culture, the ten archetypal craft beer drinkers. For the record, I’m some kind of mix between #4 and #9.
(Side note: I used the pronouns “he” and “his” for simplicity only, and am by no means suggesting this is a male-only thing. We’ll just assume that “guy” in this context is as gender malleable as “dude.” Everyone is a dude, male or female or equine or mythological.)
1. The Local
This guy drinks beer brewed in his home state, and maybe the bordering few states, exclusively. He’s a champion of the local craft scene, often espousing the local nanobrew that is climbing in popularity in a new brewpub two towns over or announcing what seasonals his favorite nearby brewery will be shipping out next. He doesn’t scoff at great beer from other places, but given the option, he’ll say “think locally, f*ck globally” every time. You can’t really be mad at him for it either; he’s a catalyst for brewing progress, keeping the smaller brew pubs alive, supporting the system at the roots, nourishing all those little guys with precious praise and dollars.
2. The Old Faithful
This guy has worked the same job for ten plus years, orders the same meal every time he goes to that same restaurant, and to absolutely no one’s surprise, always drinks the same beer every weekend from the comfort of a well-worn chair. It’s usually something pretty good: an IPA from an established brewery or a modern, well executed lager. But, like an old man stuck firmly in a rocking chair at a retirement home lamenting how the world “used to be,” he gets grumpy and dismissive if someone suggests he tries something new. He’ll likely drink that beer until he dies, or until the brewery goes under, at which point he’ll try to find a beer exactly like it which may be the only time in his life that he tries new beers.
3. The Critic
This guy is a roiling mess of negativity, who despite having downed some of the best beer in existence, cannot seem to say anything good about any beers. His rampant criticism of anything and everything beer related makes the people around him wonder if he actually likes beer at all, or if he just really likes to talk about how much he doesn’t like beer. He’s not uneducated, often correctly pointing out faults like over-hopping, high acidity, off flavors, and weak malt backbones. He’s probably tried more beers than most people who claim to “love/adore/admire” craft beer. But no one has ever seen him actually enjoying a beer. The day he does, the universe might implode.
4. The Appraiser
This guy is the antithesis of The Critic, who, despite tasting some stuff that a man stumbling through the desert dying of thirst would reject and wave off, loves pretty much everything that passes his lips. Even beers that could potentially be toxic or cause a severe allergic reaction; even bizarre beers, like that homebrewed rutabaga porter he tried last week; even beers that are stored and served in screw top two liter Mountain Dew bottles are OK in this guy’s world. If the beer really does taste awful, he’ll find something else to compliment, like the labeling or cool off-curlean blue of the bottle cap. When his drinking buddies say, “How can you drink this shit? Tastes like Scotch tape mixed with pureed owl pellets!” he’ll respond with, “Yea, a little bit I guess. But it’s definitely not the worst I’ve thing I’ve ever had!”
5. The Clueless One
This guy really wants to be part of the craft beer wave, really wants to fit in with all his friends at the bar on a Friday night as they take turns sipping from a sampler, but the combination of an unsophisticated palate and a possible learning disability keeps him from grasping the finer nuances of good beer. He’ll often ask, attempting to look beer-literate, if a lager is a pale ale, or if a stout is a hefeweizen. He means well, and seems to enjoy his beer, but can’t for the life of him keep styles or breweries straight. He once correctly identified an IPA and now that is all he will order, partly out of fear that people will realize he has no idea what he’s talking about, partly because he’s proud he finally got one right.
6. The Flavor Finder
This guy could be also be named “The Bullshitter.” His ability to identify flavors – many of which were not intentionally added to the brew – borders on paranormal. He’ll sniff at the settling head of an IPA and make verbal note of the subtle wafts of “raspberry, turmeric, and waffle batter.” He’ll take a sip and, swirling his tongue around his mouth, ask if you noticed the way the hops created “a dirty, rusty flavor” but “in a good way” then point out how the finish is like “molten cashews, cooked over a fire of pine needles and Brazilian rosewood.” The dude will claim to taste things humans can’t physically taste, like passion and eccentricity. If he is really tasting all of this stuff, there might be something really, really wrong with his tongue. Or maybe he’s about to have a stroke. No one knows.
7. The Beer Snob
Everyone knows one of these guys, the person not just happy to crack and pour and drink his beer, that guy who cannot control the urge to explain why the beers he drinks are vastly superior to the beers you drink. He’d never be caught dead with something less than 9.5% ABV, somehow equating alcohol content to quality. If it’s not a double or triple or Imperial version, he won’t even consider drinking it, as it is clearly below his refined tastes and standards. He spends his free time on BeerAdvocate and RateBeer writing short, overly-harsh and condescending reviews, always adding the note, “it’s no Old Rasputin” to the end of each. No one really likes this guy, but he thinks he’s doing the beer-drinking community a favor by ranting about the “impurity of large scale brewing” whenever he can.
8. The Beer Snob Snob
This guy has gotten all meta and is snobby about how snobby the beer snobs snob. He is the counter-culture backlash against the condescension that permeates the beer world, falling back on non-craft beers with lots of folk lore, like Pabst Blue Ribbon and National Bohemian. He wears square rimmed glasses, porkpie hats, and too-tight pants. This guy isn’t actually into beer for the sake of the beer, he just really, really likes to annoy people and say the word “irony” a lot. As soon as good beer isn’t cool anymore, it won’t be cool to like bad beer, which means it won’t be ironic to like any beer at all, and this guy will fade into mismatched, dub-step thumping obscurity.
9. The Comparer
This guy can’t help but compare the beer he’s currently drinking to every other beer he’s ever drunk. The first words out of his mouth after a virgin sip of a new (to him) brew, are always, “Hmm, this reminds me of…” It’s his mission to compile a mental database of every beer ever, to create connections between breweries, to be a walking, talking reference encyclopedia of craft beer. He’s actually great to have around if you’re trying to find new beers of a certain style to try, but otherwise his incessant obsession with categorization and beer hierarchy make him tough to hang out with. Never, ever, under any circumstance, unless you need to kill two or three hours, ask this guy what his favorite beer is. Trust me on that one.
10. The Brewbie
The new guy! The excited guy! The guy who just tried his first Stone Ruination IPA and just can’t stop talking about it! A new craft beer fan is born in the maternity wards of brewpubs every Friday night. This guy is usually overly enthusiastic, recommending every person try every beer ever, even if they’re underage, not a beer fan, or not even a human. He’ll go on about how IPAs are his favorite, no ambers, no pilsners, no stouts, no IPAs again; drunk on the new breadth of styles and flavors he’s just discovered, and also the beer itself. This guy tends to drink too much out of excitement, not realizing that his new beau is a good 2 or 3 or 5% ABV higher than the stuff he was drinking in college. No one gets mad when he gets a little out of hand though. His zeal and excitement remind us of ourselves when we first took a sip of that beer that turned casual drinker into enthusiast, and turned beer into art.
Tagged: alcohol, amber, beer, craft beer, drinking, home brew, IPA, libation, list, old rasputin, pilsner, porter, stout, top 10, top 10 list, top ten, top ten list, types of beer drinker, yummy rutabaga porter
Literally laughed out loud at the flavor finder. Excellent post!
Thank you!
I enjoyed this post. I have met every one of these guys. I can honestly say I don’t think too hard I just try to enjoy. I also know a guy in the beer making business and he runs new and old stuff by me now and then. (Now that is heaven) Yes he does ask my opinion.
Thanks for reading! I’m lucky enough to taste some great homebrew from local guys, but I definitely wouldn’t complain if a big brewer wanted to test his stuff out on me 🙂
Forgive the typos…. I’m still laughing at “molten cashews.” I’m going to intentionally find that flavor in everything I taste the rest of this week. In fact, I’m going to go back to the SN Hoptimum I had last night and tease out a note or two of them – blackened cashews at the very least. I have to admit that I didn’t pick up on that last night but like a crime scene tech without a fresh can on Luminol™ I wasn’t armed for the task.
As for your list, depending on my mood, I’m probably a #9 (echoes of John Lennon’s voice wafting about) with unhealthy doses of #7 influencing the occasional tirade.
I’d also suggest another type: The Patient…
This guy doesn’t seem to reco gnize that it’s perfectly acceptable, in fact, often desireable to open, pou, and enjoy a beer the very same day you bring it into the house. He has twice relegated his children to less comfortable sleeping quarters in order to make room for his ever-expanding arsenal of barrel or bottle aged ales. If it tastes like wood, he’s all over it. A veritable Ernest and Julio of craft beer.
Ohhh, I like “The Patient.” Maybe I’ll expand this (or create sub-categories) down the line.
This was so much fun to read (even though I’m afraid I must self-identify as The Clueless One)! Alas, I haven’t yet developed your palette, but I’m giving it the old college try!
Nothing wrong with being The Clueless One; I’m pretty sure that describes me when it comes to scotch and bourbon!
This is like those workshops we used to do in work where at the end of the day they told you that you were something like a “passive-enabler”, except this was a lot funnier! Wow, I KNOW some of those people (a couple of #3s jump right out) and recognize a few in myself (a little #1, #4, #6 mixed in there).
The scary thing is, I just read a review that described a beer as “pancake batter” I think it was. Some sort of batter. I remember doing a double take on that one. Molten cashews? That one I’d love to see.
We have a “Brewbie” here at work. It is fun to get caught up in their excitement. He had his first Loose Cannon the other day at a ball game and you’d have thought we handed him ambrosia, steeped in nectar,..over a fire of pine needles and Brazilian rosewood.
Awesome post!
I swear I didn’t read that pancake batter post. What a weird coincidence.
Like most here, I see a bit of myself in several of these. I support local as often as I can, so I’m a little bit No. 1. You might call me a No. 2, as my house beer — Sierra Nevada Torpedo — is almost always in my fridge. Or maybe I’m a No. 4, as I actually found something worth drinking in the Cave Creek Chili Beer. I also really surprised many when I enjoyed Yeastie Boyz, a smoke bomb of a beer brewed with 100 percent peated malt.
I could find a lot to relate to here, not just in myself but in fellow beer geeks. Great post!
I’m definitely a #4; this blog is proof. I can’t not say nice things about beers, even in styles I don’t normally like. I know how much work goes into brewing a batch and I just don’t have it in me to be mean. That said, I’ve never tried “Yeastie Boyz.” Sounds…adventurous.
i like this, i see myself as a 4 and a 10 hybrid )
Great Post! I would definitely consider myself a mix of #4 and #9 also. Sometimes the Critic and the Beer Snob are the same person. Uh-oh, does that make me #8 now?
Thanks, Ryan! I don’t think you could be a #8 unless you really committed to it 😉
I think you need to add ambassador to the list, for those of us who have passed through many of your categories. Newbie, snob, local, appraiser & critic come to mind as places I have been at various times and places (critic at beer competitions). I now drink whatever is new first, I love wheatbier through barleywine, I always support the local places but if you ask me what I think of your beer (usually a homebrew but sometimes a commercial brewer) I’m going to give you a real and truthful analysis. I have also gotten to the point where I don’t have to prove my beer ego and just want to help others enjoy the new and expanding craft beer scene. I love picking out beers for people who “don’t like beer”. The more everyone likes good beer the more good beer there will be to like.
Thanks for the list.
Tim, I think we would agree with a category like this, as it describes our approach pretty well. Thought I would also suggest another category:
The Iconoclast
Everyone likes IPAs? He likes malty brews. Everyone’s agog over sour beers? They get nothing but derision. Everyone’s going for session ales now that they’ve gotten over their high-gravity obsession? He’ll keep those high-gravity brews, thanks.
I like both of these categories a lot. If (and when) I expand this article, those two will definitely make an appearance. Thanks for the feedback!
Haha I was just thinking that I didn’t see a lot of myself in the ten categories mentioned, but you pretty much just nailed me as an Iconoclast. When people were starting to go crazy over IPAs I didn’t care for them (I can’t get enough of them now however), and I’ve gotten really annoyed over the whole sour fad (unlike IPAs which are here to stay, I don’t see the popularity that sours are enjoying right now to be a permanent thing). There are some sours I enjoy, others you might as well just eat a box of sour patch kids. Gross. Great catch on this category!
The flavor finder was hilarious. Reminds me of some the guys on youtube who do reviews and say they smell fresh orange marmalade on leather car seats softened by the summer sun.
As for me, I’d say I’m a bit of a 1 and 9.
I don’t know about you, but I love drinking soft, warm leather car seats. 🙂
Great post! I read this aloud to my husband (the beer enthusiast of the two of us) and he laughed hard more than a few times. I guess like you, #4 definitely fits him, with a splash of #9.
I’m sorry, Jessica, but your phrase “splash of #9” infringes upon our trademark here at Magic Hat. Please phase that phrase out if you don’t mind.
Ryan Daley, Magic Hat
Hahahahaha.
😀
Nailed it!
🙂
This post smells of a warm car seat in the southern sun that’s recently been sat on by a person with a skin condition…possibly rosacea…but in a good way!
Well written. I love going to beer events and just people watching. It’s amazing how many people you see that will fit into one of these categories. I guess if I had to categorize myself, I’d have a touch of 4 in me.
People watching at beer-events is better than most big-budget TV shows.
I’m a total sucker for lists I loved it. And nice Gogol Bordello reference. I guess I’m almost a 4 and a bit of a 9. Nice post.
I, too, am a 4 with a bit of 9. Are we the same person? It’s possible we’re the same person.
You need a ‘Special Mention’ category for people like my husband Uwe: the native German beer drinker. He thinks, therefor he drinks (beer). On trips to the States Uwe’s been impressed with the upsurge in microbrews, He even tells our friends here that “there are good beers in America”! Cheers, —Jadi
I like that idea. Maybe an “Expat” or “Beer Tourist?” Thanks for reading!
Is it just me, or is this list missing all the redeeming qualities of different types of beer drinkers?
I definitely agree with the “beer tourist” categorization. But I’d love to see some positive qualities here!
I guess I just assumed that everyone already knows and extols all the virtues of beer drinkers. 😉
Hilarious!…And dead on. Great post, very original and funny. I’m a beer blogger and “The Local.” Cheers!
Thanks for reading!
11. The Dragon Chaser
This guy has a favorite in each style of beer and is searching for the beer that is even better than that one. He will say things like “This one is really good, but my favorite is still Peruvian Morning” or “This is really hoppy, but if you like hops, you should try Moylan’s Hopsicle Imperial Ale” This well meaning beer lover isn’t trying to say that he doesn’t love the beer he’s drinking, he just wants all of the beers that he drinks to be as good as his favorite.
Oh, I like that one a lot. The idea of “chasing the dragon” definitely entered my mind while I was writing, but I wasn’t sure where to add it. This guy will be on the new list, whenever I get around to adding to it 🙂
I am what happens if #9 and #8 were furiously scissoring on a Sybian with #3 running the Alexa camera. The whole thing is a horrible mess you can’t look away from and you clear your browser history afterwards.
Is it weird that the main thing that strikes me about this comment is the tricky logistics of two people trying to scissor on top of a Sybian?
No, I had the same thought. Also wondered why you’d use an $80,000 camera to film this scenario when a $20 flip camera would suffice, but then I guess if you really got the scissoring on a sybian working, you’d want to see it in hi-def…
*slow clap* Shut it down folks, the Internet has been won!
Great post! I feel that I’m a combination of almost all of them (especially 1, 4, 6, and 9), and certainly have met individuals who fall squarely within each category.
One gripe, though, that I would keep to myself if it weren’t for the “literature and libation” title of the site: if you’re erudite enough to refer to literature and employ alliteration, then you should be able to use the participial form of the verb “to drink.” Hint: #9 should not read “every beer he’s ever drank.” I drink beer today, I drank beer yesterday, I have drunk beer for years.
I think that one is more the result of poor proofreading than not knowing the correct verb form. Noted, fixed, apologies, and thank you!
Good to know – it’s one of my biggest pet peeves when reading about beer. I swear that 90%+ of BA members misuse the verb.
Cheers!
Oliver, the Beer Bloggers Conference is coming up in mid July. Boston, MA is the city and if you’re not already attending you should-lots of kindred beer writing spirits will be in attendance.
That’s exciting, and thanks for letting me know about it! I’m not sure I can swing time off work at such short notice, but I’ll certainly look into it.
I am a combo of the taste finder and the comparer, but in a good way:) It is only the love of the beer that makes me that way! I must admit, I haven’t ran across molten cashews, yet, sounds kind of cool.
The things we do for love 🙂 If I ever brew a “molten cashew porter” I’ll let you know.
I might have to melt some cashews to find out about the molten cashews….
Love the list! Cant quite decide for myself. Kind of a brewbie but a little clueless with some appraiser thrown in with a bit of…heck I have most of them in me at times except the snob and snob snob…I do find some redeeming qualities in most beers except a few…I must be a bit split personality!
Unfortunately, I think cashews smolder instead of melting nicely. Don’t ask how I know.
I think we’re all brewbies at heart. Unless there really is someone out there who has tried every beer ever, we’re always still searching, learning. Thanks for reading!
I, too, have elements of 4 and 9 going on here. However, when it comes to 4, I’m more of a novelty whore than anything else. I’ll try anything once, but if I’ve had it before, well, do I really need to try it again?
Oh man, I’m such a novelty whore. I’m glad I’m not the only one. I have to know what a gooseberry/ginger lambic tastes like, even if I’m pretty sure that taste could quickly and easily be described as “bad.”
I’m quite a bit of number 6, and rather proud of it. Some can get more than a bit pretentious with it, and i understand the frustration with those who claim to detect hints of angel farts and unicorn tears, but I pity those who drink a beer and taste, well, beer. Just beer. If that’s the case, why are you paying $10 a sixer or $5 a pint for something you apparently can’t distinguish from Perrier? Still, I can’t say as I’ve ever tasted molten cashews or waffle batter in any grew, so there is that.
Yea, I think everyone who takes the time to really think while they drink is a bit of #6. I have no issue when someone tastes citrus or grass or anything that seems like it could result from an interesting mix of hops or a good malt backbone. I do have issues when someone tries to tell me they can taste “artisan homemade alfredo sauce” or something so specific and weird it’s just silly.
Heh! I agree completely. This idea of turning beer tasting into a “who can find the most esoteric and oddly specific flavor” competition is aggravating. I just couldn’t think up a name for the people who don’t taste a thing and drink craft beer only because everyone around them does. Peer Pressure drinkers? Label Chasers? Hey Look Ar Me drinkers? Nowhere near as prevalent (or as funny!) as the other groups you mentioned. Great post, by the way.
Oh yea, I’m sure there are many other types out there, these were just the main ones that hit me when I put the article together. I do like the idea of the “Peer Pressure” drinker though. Seen a few of those myself.
Thanks for reading!
Hi Oliver, I really enjoyed reading this. I have another type to suggest –
The Beer Traveler – Takes vacations based on where the most brew pubs are, and will tell you how every beer you like tastes better when you drink it at the brewery itself!
I really like that idea. I think it ties in with another type some readers have suggested: “The Beer Tourist” – a drink who goes out of his way to drink beers from all over the world. Thanks for reading!
This is my husband and myself. I am a newbie of sorts as for years I asked my husband, “how can you drink that #*%^”?, but now, look out, I’m there. We do always check what is available when we are deciding where to travel.
Nice article, but it’s no Old Rasputin.
😉
Apparently I am no type of craft beer drinker, as I am not a guy. FYI ladies love good beer too!
Hi Jenny! I meant no offense and some of my best drinking buddies are female.
The second paragraph of the article was an attempt at a disclaimer:
“(Side note: I used the pronouns “he” and “his” for simplicity only, and am by no means suggesting this is a male-only thing. We’ll just assume that “guy” in this context is as gender malleable as “dude.” Everyone is a dude, male or female or equine or mythological.)”
Sorry. I know, I know. Nobody likes the grammar police, but this is one of my pet peeves. http://public.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/palate.html
Noted and fixed. Thanks for pointing that out!
The line “…the combination of an unsophisticated palate and a possible learning disability keeps him from grasping the finer nuances of good beer” was brilliant, though. Great list!
Fun read. Had me laughing quite a bit. Even though I have been drinking craft, and yes mainly local, beer for about 5 years, I still feel like the brewbie sometimes. Just so exciting to taste new beers, flavors, and styles.
Thanks for the post.
This is a great post! I laughed and laughed hard! Thanks for sharing! (I’m a 6, 7, and 10) Oh lord!
This is brilliant. Thank you for existing.
I could think of another personality or two… cause I don’t think I fit any of those.
The Traveler –
This guy has visited more breweries and craft beer bars than most people have tried. He find nothing better than to search out craft beer at the source, and visit the places that were important to the craft beer movement. He often has beers stored away “brought back from his trip to…”
The Pack Rat –
This guy buys bottled beers and never drinks them, rather adds them to his “stash” until the time is right to open and share with other craft beer pack rats. They can also be found in the company of the The Comparer, The Flavor Finder, and The Brewbie.
Great article!
I’ve noticed a certain category – the guys who know only a few craft beers, will have only one of them a night and then stick to the cheapest mass produced lager for the rest of the night. Their choice for that one “special beer”, as they call it, is usually something fairly easy such as Czech dark lagers, Irish stouts, German Hefeweizens or English IPA’s at most.
Reblogged this on Richmond Beermeister and commented:
#RVA what kind of craft beer drinker are you? I’m some kind of mix of 1, 4, and 9.
Hilarious! Yes I know someone of each type and I am a 1.
Hm, I don’t think I am any of these. I propose another category: “The Home Brewer.” This person is most often drinking her own home brewed beers, but she also enjoys various craft beers from craft breweries and microbreweries. Some craft beers she may use as inspiration for her own recipes, while others–styles that are more complicated to brew at home–often inspire longing sighs for additional brewing equipment.
#6 describes 3/5 of the people who post reviews to beeradvocate.com
Right, so, why are these craft beer drinkers all guys? Wait, I know! Only the obnoxious ones are guys!
As I mentioned to Jenny in a comment above, I meant no offense. The second paragraph of this article explains that this is NOT just for men 🙂
“(Side note: I used the pronouns “he” and “his” for simplicity only, and am by no means suggesting this is a male-only thing. We’ll just assume that “guy” in this context is as gender malleable as “dude.” Everyone is a dude, male or female or equine or mythological.)”
Don’t forget about The Pokemon:
“Gotta catch em all” And this guy will. He subscribes to virtually every brewery/distributor/beer store site on Facebook and/or Twitter in a 150 mile radius and will go to great lengths to track down every single “special release” that becomes available even if it’s some experimental crap that sounds terrible. I mean, how many other people out there can Instagram their 2 bottle haul (there’s always a limit for obvious reasons) of juniper berry infused with fox urine special pale ale? Gotta work at 5 am? No biggie, he’ll still be on Brown Paper Tickets at 1:59 to ensure his Horse Jizz Imperial Porter will be available to him when it’s released in 14 months. You know, that guy.
Good read, as I developed my lust for different beers I skipped around from the old faithful to local to clueless to brewbie to some crazed untappd junky beer collector freak that I morphed into currently. The good news is, by forcing myself to drink well out of comfort zone, I have discovered many gems and turned into classification #11 the OCD collector…
OMG – I definitely used to date #6. I’m not sure any of these fits me exactly, but I’m probably more #1 than any of the others. And some of this made me lol. Great post, OG!
Reblogged this on Brooklyn Beer Bitch.
Dying over here. I know people who fall into every category. Thanks for the laugh. 🙂
So, owning a brewery in central VA, I get see every one of these models constantly..and it is funny, as I was apply to apply an appropriate category to everyone of my staff….with myself being a strict #1. But they all fit with one exception…
So, not to add to the chorus, but I too have a couple ideas for additional classes…but thankfully other posters have taken the job of naming them and describing them for me:
I second the nomination of the pokemon…The funny thing is, that is exactly what one of my staff said it was missing, with the exact naming scheme…the collector who has to get them all, with no limitation to what he/she will buy. This is also exemplified by the pack-rat/patient that others have suggested. They are not necessarily even buying for consumption, but for almost just the thought of consumption. They are further exemplified by their habits of saving every label/crown/unique bottle they lay their hands on. (this was my missing staff member by the way…and myself until, I realized the effort was futile, and I am now, as stated before…the local, through and through.)
I also further second the nomination of the iconoclast. I know way too many people who are branded to a style…very similar to the “Old Faithful” but not regulated to a company. They are the type who walks in and states “give me your biggest IPA (this also incorporates your dragon chaser)..or they are your sour nut…or the squirrelly dude that only drinks barely wine, or even now you can find the rare person who only wants the biggest, small beer you can make…
But, again, just echoing the voices of the other readers here….great article, Very true in its actuality…and may I say, as a brewer, I strangely prefer the critic over the appraiser..I feel even with the negativity, I progress with my beer over just general nondescript nice words. But, I maybe am slightly professionally masochistic, so yeah……..that just might be me.
So, owning a brewery in central VA, I get see every one of these models constantly..and it is funny, as I was apply to apply an appropriate category to everyone of my staff….with myself being a strict #1. But they all fit with one exception…
So, not to add to the chorus, but I too have a couple ideas for additional classes…but thankfully other posters have taken the job of naming them and describing them for me:
I second the nomination of the pokemon…The funny thing is, that is exactly what one of my staff said it was missing, with the exact naming scheme…the collector who has to catch them all, with no limitation to what he/she will buy. This is also exemplified by the pack-rat/patient that others have suggested. They are not necessarily even buying for consumption, but for almost just the thought of consumption. They are further exemplified by their habits of saving every label/crown/unique bottle they lay their hands on. (this was my missing staff member by the way…and myself until, I realized the effort was futile, and I am now, as stated before…the local, through and through.)
I also further second the nomination of the iconoclast. I know way too many people who are branded to a style…very similar to the “Old Faithful” but not regulated to a company. They are the type who walks in and states “give me your biggest IPA (this also incorporates your dragon chaser)..or they are your sour nut…or the squirrelly dude that only drinks barely wine, or even now you can find the rare person who only wants the biggest, small beer you can make…
But, again, just echoing the voices of the other readers here….great article, Very true in its actuality…and may I say, as a brewer, I strangely prefer the critic over the appraiser..I feel even with the negativity, I progress with my beer over just general nondescript nice words. But, I maybe am slightly professionally masochistic, so yeah……..that just might be me.
I’m a lot of 9 with some 1 (lots of great places popping up around Atlanta) and a little 7 mixed in (though I’m hopefully not nearly that bad). But there are definitely echoes of 10 in there at least as far as the enthusiasm goes! I love talking beer with people! I can’t help it and must tell the guy gazing at the case in the liquor store what I think of that brew. I’ve found some of my favorites by others doing the same!
Damn that was funny and spot on! I laughed out loud as I read these. Great observations on our absurd little community.
You forgot the whole aged beer geeks that love any aged beer no matter how oxidized and astringent it gets. For them the older the better and the more magical to transformation, not matter if it was best the day it was bottled.
Yeah, this was amazing to read. I was laughing (inside, but loudly) through the whole thing, nodding my head and smiling while picturing moments with each of these ‘people’ with fondness (and a little reminiscing smirk for giggles). Well done… well done.
How about “The Dude”…
Drinks craft beer almost exclusively, but won’t turn down a BMC if offered. Likes big beers, but often wonders why more people aren’t into craft pilsners, but he doesn’t ever mention it…he has a few “go-to” beers which he seldom actually goes to. His palate is somewhat sophisticated, but he feels overthinking beer ruins it somehow, so he drinks every beer that comes his way and enjoys it simply because it is beer. He is accepting of beer snobs, craft newbies, etc…he’ll entertain their thoughts with respect and without contradiction …whether he agrees or not makes no difference… he’s just happy to be tipping a few beers. Says “no worries” a lot and is generally unflappable.