Having trouble finding time in your busy schedule to read all of those awesome books on your “awesome books to read” list?
Follow my simple guide, and you’ll be plowing through Fifty Shades of Grey and the Twilight Saga is record time!
How to read 1000 pages in two days:
Things you’ll need:
-A book (or books)
-Working eyeballs
-Light
-Beer (anything cold)
Step 1: Have a massive, sudden storm demolish the power grid/infrastructure near your home
Something like this should do:
Tis’ but a scratch.
Step 2: Read, because you have nothing else to do
It is best to distract yourself from the heat and lack of any creature comforts by reading something riveting that takes place somewhere cold. I chose A Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin. The Frostfangs and The Wall didn’t sound so bad when I was roasting myself in our void of AC.
Step 3: Continue to read until you fall asleep
While you’re digging through drawers looking for your LED book light in the waning daylight, find some way to keep your beer cold. I recommend stealing some ice from your neighbors, filling a martini shaker, and shoving your beer in there as a make shift wine-bucket.
Good luck to everyone in the DC Metro Area still without power. May your batteries never die and your candles burn long.
Land Rovers make good pole support, apparently.
Literature and Libation 