Little known and oft ignored fact: there are thousands upon thousands of wizards living along side us. I know because I have apprenticed to a few, and am training to be a wizard myself.
Due to the fetters or civility and modern society, many of these people are forced to ply trades far less fantastic than traditional wizards. Since they can’t focus their powers on the arcane, they instead focus on being very good at one, specialized thing.
I was preparing a delicious serving of Carolina style short ribs when I decided that human blood might be a good addition to the recipe. My blood. Lots of it. From my thumb, via knife, into the delicious chili sauce.
This plan didn’t turn out as well as I had hoped, and I ended up hemorrhaging enthusiastically for several hours. I should have listened to my wife and gone to the hospital then and there, but I had to look tough, because, y’know. I wrapped the wound in Wendy’s napkins and duct tape, hoping that my mechanic’s bandage would staunch the bleeding and prevent the need for medical intervention.
My prescription of beer and Advil didn’t work. Turns out alcohol and ibuprofen are blood thinners. Who knew?
Admitting that perhaps this cut was beyond my healing abilities as a level 17 cleric, I drove around on Monday morning looking for an open Urgent Care or Patient First. I avoid hospitals when I can. Wizards don’t live at hospitals, anyway.
The man who saw me wasn’t even trying to hide that he was a wizard. A Stitch-Wizard, to be exact. He was five-foot-one, 85 lbs, wearing a red, 1970s paisley tie that was tucked into the top of his pants. His wrinkled skin betrayed years of scrutinizing eldritch magical tomes, and his puffed grey mustache was a vain attempt to distract from his amazingly shaped wizard beard. He spoke with power and wisdom; his eyes were kind and showed me ancient, guarded knowledge.
He used his magical powers to get rid of my thumb pain and stop the lifeblood from flowing out of my body. It was awesome.
Be observant when you are out and about, for you may be interacting with wizards every day.
What manner of man are you that you can sew up skin without spells and staves?
Literature and Libation 